There’s no such thing as a free podcast, unless it’s about food.

I became a little hot under the collar when uploading this.

Ah yes herbs, one of my favourite things, don’t want to go promoting them on a podcast you know. Ow ow STOP KICKING ME! What? Ah.Herbs. I’m with you now. The girls take you through the wonder that is herbs! Enjoy

The lost episode! Only lost because Will skipped an episode number when uploading. The girls grind out all things coffee.

Some are born great, some have greatness thrust upon them, others just serve bad food.

Gloria and Mia are joined by champion forager Sarah Binless to talk about, well, forager.

Mia and Gloria are joined by Marcia to talk about professional and domestic cooking.

Mia and Gloria take us through the murky world of upset stomachs and exploding faces due to food poisoning. Now faces may NOT explode, but they could, i’m just saying.

Listen out for a Crimes Against Food competition.

Food to accompany beer. Well, ‘food’ to accompany beer.

The girls are back! A take-away length episode for you.

‘We’re all gonna die man! Like a bunch of melon farmers!!!!!’

- Bill Paxton – Aliens (ITV pre-watershed edit)

The food prophets cast their magic eye, check the crystal ball and consult the bones to bring you yet another cracking show!

As we waddle into the new decade, bellies aching from too many holiday dinners and shattered promises of years gone by, Gloria and Mia take you through the world of fasting. The good and bad going via the fu*kin ridiculous!

I caught Santa kissing the Crimes Against Food girls under the Christmas Tree. He was lured in by their exceedingly good biscuits and milk!

We talk about what can go wrong when you eat food at weddings.

Good Curry. No Worries.

Gloria and Mia talk everything short, flaky and filo.

Don’t try cooking a book, you’ll only burn the pages moron.

The Brie shudders in the dock. Cheddar waits, cheese head in cheese hands. Gorgonzola hangs from a gibbet as the Goats Cheese takes it lashes.

Non Stick Lindh and Stainless Steele take on cheese!!!! I Camembert the tension!

Eggs and Kodak, Hi Def Yorkshire Pudding and 16mm Cake. The girls talk Film and Food, a fat critics wet dream.

Gloria and Mia tackle allergies and intolerance’s.

When will i see you again……?

Whisk them or fry them, they’re still eggs.

I’m very simple when it comes to sandwiches. They have to have bread and they have to have Marmite. After that I’m not really bothered as long as it’s some kind of meat.

You can drown in just a couple of inches of it.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for a new episode of Crimes Against Food.

It’s something about food with Mia and Gloria.

Are you local?

I haven’t been to many dinner parties. I don’t like the food or the people so it wouldn’t be a good idea anyway.

You know I love a bit of cake. Oh man I looooooove the cake.

It’s one of my favorite foods. You can use it to make toast, cheese on toast, beans on toast, french toast and toasted sandwiches.

Jars of things and stuff like that. I’m not a fan myself but it’s not about what I think is it.

Gloria and Mia talk about the most important meal of the day. I like Frosties.

Gloria and Mia come over all chicken.

Gloria and Mia tell you exactly what’s wrong with restaurants. The last time I went to a restaurant they arranged the chips like a mini game of Jenga. Fortunately I won and was allowed to keep them.

The little crunchy nice things we all like so much.

Time to kick things off with a brand new show!

Join Gloria and Mia as the take a look at some of the crimes we commit against food and cooking. For the first episode they’re taking a look at the basic kitchen essentails.

Crimes Against Food with Gloria and Mia will be launching on Wednesday the 6th of May. Keep checking back for more details.