Gloria Lindh and Mia Steel know their food. They know how to eat it and they know how to cook it. But there are many food crimes, and therefore food criminals, among us. They purport to be delicious but fail on every level to bring joy, or sometimes even sustenance.

The ladies-who-lunch call out bad combinations, poor techniques and pitiful ingredients for the crimes that they are and attempt to set right, for once and for all, the offences committed. Ridiculously good fun, you’ll find yourself agreeing and shouting out the food crimes that boil your blood, even amongst commuters. Tasty listening.


CAF – Episode 27 – Food Security

'We're all gonna die man! Like a bunch of melon farmers!!!!!'

- Bill Paxton - Aliens (ITV pre-watershed edit)

CAF – Episode 26 – A New Year Of Crime?

The food prophets cast their magic eye, check the crystal ball and consult the bones to bring you yet another cracking show!

CAF – Episode 25 – Fasting

As we waddle into the new decade, bellies aching from too many holiday dinners and shattered promises of years gone by, Gloria and Mia take you through the world of fasting. The good and bad going via the fu*kin ridiculous!

CAF – Episode 23 – Wedding Food

We talk about what can go wrong when you eat food at weddings.

CAF – Episode 22 – AnaCurry In The U.K

Good Curry. No Worries.

CAF – Episode 20 – Cook Books

Don't try cooking a book, you'll only burn the pages moron.

CAF – Episode 19 – Cheese

The Brie shudders in the dock. Cheddar waits, cheese head in cheese hands. Gorgonzola hangs from a gibbet as the Goats Cheese takes it lashes.

Non Stick Lindh and Stainless Steele take on cheese!!!! I Camembert the tension!

CAF – Episode 18 – Food On Film

Eggs and Kodak, Hi Def Yorkshire Pudding and 16mm Cake. The girls talk Film and Food, a fat critics wet dream.

CAF – Episode 17 – Tolerance and Intolerance

Gloria and Mia tackle allergies and intolerance's.

CAF – Episode 15 – Eggs

Whisk them or fry them, they're still eggs.