Electronic Drum Machine Shirt
I’ve always thought the music-playing shirts were a cute little novely item.  ThinkGeek has taken it to a ridiculous level with the new Drum Machine t-shirt.  This thing is no joke.  While I may not wear it in public, I can’t stop playing with it.  Not only does it have 7 drum pads that can all be played at once, it records loops, so you can layer beats and effects on unlimited tracks and can be as long as 3 minutes.  There are 9 different drum kits at your disposal, for a grand total of 63 sounds.  On a shirt.  Hidden on the underside in a pocket is the mini-amplifier that looks like a tiny Marshall stack with a headphone/audio out jack and naturally, a volume knob that goes up to 11.  The electronics all pop off the shirt easily for washing too, or if you’re like me, you prefer a plain black t-shirt and a new drum machine to play with at your desk.  Check out the video after the jump for a demo and believe that this is a steal for $29.99.

Opena iPhone Case & Bottle Opener
How has it taken this long for someone to add a bottle opener to an iPhone case?  Originally a Kickstarter project, the Opena fits your iPhone 4 or 4S with a hard plastic finish in white or black, and on the back is a slide-out metal bottle opener.  What’s great about it is that it’s solid and doesn’t feel like it’s going to break at all.  You might also think that it may be heavy, but it’s not much heavier than any other standard case.  There isn’t much more to say about this aside from the fact that I told two people about it at a party recently and they were blown away that it exists and wanted to buy it for people on their lists on first sight.  If I had an iPhone, this is the only case I’d consider.

V-Moda Faders by Ear Armor
Got a friend who is always going out to concerts or clubs, or is a DJ or musician?  These brand new earplugs (not earbuds) were designed by professional music producers and DJs for optimum fidelity while still reducing overall decibels by 12.  I DJ every weekend and tested these on a recent night.  I went with the largest of the 3 included fittings to get the snuggest fit for my ear and immediately noticed the difference between the Faders and the cheapo foam earplugs I am used to wearing.  Instead of sounding like the music was underwater, I could hear a full range of sound from lows to highs, with a nice overall softening effect.  The shape and size of the earplugs took a little getting used to, it felt like they were very noticable, even though they weren’t, and I only experienced a little discomfort toward the end of my five-hour shift.  One modification I did make was cutting the string off that runs from one to the other, presumably to keep you from losing them.  These are a great buy and a thoughtful gift for someone who can use them but probably never thought about it, especially at just $15.  Believe me, tinnitus is the anti-gift that keeps on giving.  Protect your ears, people.

Milk and Cheese: Dairy Products Gone Bad (Hardcover)
Unless you’re entrenched in the comics world, you’re probably looking at that cover and thinking, “What the…?”  Yes, it’s an anthropomorphic carton of milk and wedge of cheese.  They are angry, foul-mouthed, rude, crass, sarcastic and hilarious.  This new collection brings every one of their comics from the past 20+ years together for the first time and damn is it an awesome read.  And this is coming from a guy who is not really big into comics.  Writer & artist Evan Dorkin even has an Eisner award on his mantle for these twisted characters.  If you’re not sold yet, here’s a quote from the first page- “We’re on a moron-killing spree, and we’re out of ammo.”  Read this, and then get on  new Milk and Cheese stories coming soon in Dark Horse Presents comics.

Bracketron Golf GPS/SmartPhone Mounts
This summer, golf got a little easier for me thanks to finally getting a decent phone and downloading a free golf GPS app.  Now that I had exact distances for my shots on my phone, the real challenge was where to keep my phone without having to pick it up every time out of the cart or out of my bag if I was walking.  Then Bracketron came along with 4 different mounts made especially for golfers, but that also work in the off-season in your car.  The version pictured here clips right onto your bag, the other versions come with a clamp to grab onto bars on a pull cart or regular cart, a suction cup to mount to a cart dashboard and an ingenious version that fits into a cup holder.  Unfortunately, the last one doesn’t work for me, as cupholder real estate is at a premium when I golf, if you know what I mean.  These mounts are solid and haven’t failed me once, I highly recommend them.  Each can be had for between $15 and $35 at various online shops or directly from Bracketron.

Nu Force BT-860 Bluetooth Headphones
Bluetooth headphones generally get a bad rep, either for sound quality or connectivity or even both.  Nu Force’s new BT-860s deliver in both categories, compared to their competitors.  On the connectivity side, these get a solid A, easy to connect to both my Android phone and my Bluetooth enabled laptop.  Was able to roam freely around my 500 sq. ft. basement with no problems.  For sound I give them a B, the bass is actually lacking a bit and the highs can be a bit tinny at times, but considering you’re hearing your music or phone calls wirelessly, they’re pretty damn good.  Another nice bonus is the comfort factor.  I was weary on opening the box and seeing rectangle earpieces made of the old school foam you used to have on your Walkman cassette players back in the day, but if you can get past it, they are actually quite comfy and also come with a smaller set so you don’t get as many looks while riding the subway.  The headphones are also lightweight and seem durable, but don’t fold up in any way, so if storage is an issue for you, you may be out of luck.  Phone calls are also nice and clear, and without the cheesiness of a visible microphone.  A pretty good buy for $79.99 from Amazon, but definitely not Audiophile-grade as promised on the site.

Swashbuckling BBQ Sword & The Spice Must Flow Apron
Only the warped minds at ThinkGeek could find a way to add nerdiness to the most mainstream, manly thing in existence, the barbeque.  These two fine items are now in my hands and on my torso every time I fire up the grill.  The sword is stainless steel and at 19″, with a protective hilt, is perfect for stabbing various kinds of meat, toasting 4 marshmallows at at time, or fending off a swamp rat with a taste for blood.  The apron is great not only for protecting your clothes from soilage, but also for sneaking in a Dune reference that none of your normie friends will ever get.  $24.99 and $19.99 at ThinkGeek.

Korg NanoPad 2
I like to be honest with my reviews. That being said, I couldn’t review this because I couldn’t figure out how to use it.  So the first thing I can tell you is that it’s definitely not some plug-and-play toy for Average Joes to hook up and play some digital drums on, like I was hoping it was.  Instead of telling you if it’s good or not, I’ll tell you what it is.  It’s a compact USB MIDI (Musical Instrument Digital Interface) controller mainly designed to digitally add drum sounds to tracks by hitting the 16 touch-sensitive pads.  It’s also got an X-Y touchpad and comes with some free software downloads as well.  I know we’ve got a lot of musicians, so check this thing out.  One thing I do know is that Korg is a good brand, so this little thing probably kicks major ass.  $59.99 at Amazon.

Reviews by Jay of Masters Of None