Nathan is back to help us talk about the 2012 Academy Awards Nominations. We go through the noms in the Best Picture category and make our predictions about who will take home the Oscar on February 26th.

The Nominees: The Artist; The Descendants; Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close; The Help; Hugo; Midnight in Paris; Moneyball; The Tree of Life; War Horse.

Photo Friday — I Have Candy, Get In The Van!

Name that candy! Please bear in mind that I would like mostly specific brand names with each candy. However, there are a few that may have more than one name. I’ll accept either.

Send your submissions to ro.rosaka@gmail.com. Deadline is next Thursday, 02/09/2012, at 12AM PST. One winner will be randomly selected and given a shout-out on our next recording.

We’re still deducting points from Ro’s total as of this hour. Expect a full accounting at the end of Q1 2012.

In this episode, we welcome Nate Hasiak of the Moral of the Story podcast for some talk about top-selling PC games, Minnesota pop culture, transvestites in movies, Emmy Awards, actors and actresses, and Tim Burton. You guess, dear listeners, which category Omar picked. I dare you.

For Those About To Rock are very happy to announce a link up with it’s sister ship Metal Memories. Presented by Proffs Boz & Casey

LEARN YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!

It’s the Groundhog Day Lost Radio Tapes AND by our interview with Stephen Tobolowsky aka Ned Ryerson, in this newly mashed up Groundhog Day classic special.  This is what the rest of that morning radio show sounded like.  If you enjoyed this, please Tweet us a vote for the Shorty Awards!

3 out of 5 *****

Self-obsession isn’t an attractive quality. Self-delusion less so. Well, Young Adult gives us a lead character who has an overabundance of both. Charlize Theron stars as Mavis, once the popular girl in high-school, who has moved from a small town in Minnesota to the more bustling municipality of Minneapolis – even though how small does your hometown have do be to regard Minneapolis as the “big city”?

Now a divorcee, Mavis is a writer of fiction novels that can be found in the “young adult ” section of bookshops (as you can see, the film’s title has a double-meaning). However, she is unsatisfied with her lot in life, and rather than write, she spends most of her time drinking heavily and watching trashy reality TV shows that specifically focus on women – which I’m sure is deliberate. She may look at the likes of “tweens” in beauty-pageants and feel superior in their vacuity, but at her core, Mavis is no better. The only difference between her and Kim Kardashian is that she has a diploma.

Mavis is emotionally stunted. Her idea of being healthy is gorging on Diet Coke to ward off her periodic morning hangovers. She gets an email from her former boyfriend Buddy (Patrick Wilson), informing her that his wife has just had a baby. This is the catalyst for Mavis to jump in her Mini Cooper, drive back to her old hometown and set about rekindling the fires with Buddy. While there, she has a chance encounter with Matt (Patton Oswalt), a guy who had the locker next to Mavis’s in high-school. Matt was lower down the totem-pole back in their teenage years, so much so that he was beaten up by jocks for being gay – the fact that Matt isn’t gay was irrelevant. The assault was so severe that Matt now needs the aid of a crutch to be able to walk.

Matt and Mavis strike up an unlikely friendship – he later explains that, “guys like me are born in love with girls like you”. He warns Mavis against trying to resume her past relationship with Buddy. But Mavis lives in a fantasy land of her own vaingloriousness; as far as she’s concerned, she’s the star of her own story. Mavis thinks she’s in a fairy-tale where the princess returns to the kingdom to claim her prince. But everyone else is too busy with their own lives to play supporting roles in such a fantasy. Her fairy-tale gradually collides with the reality of where her life is actually at.

This is the second collaboration between director, Jason Reitman and writer, Diablo Cody. Their first, Juno was a resounding success. However, while I loved it, it was a divisive film in some circles. Cody has a stylised manner of writing that people tend to like or dislike. Personally, I find her incongruous way of generating humour a delight; some of the movie’s best laughs come from a dreadful cover band made up entirely of new mothers, and the town’s, “popular cripple”. And Reitman has already surpassed the directing achievements of his auspicious filmmaking father. His last outing, Up In The Air, was arguably the best film of 2010.

Theron does a fine job in the lead role, believable as a former prom-queen gone bad. She’s written to be unlikeable and Theron looks to be having an absolute hoot playing an egocentric bitch. Patton Oswalt (who’s stand-up work I highly recommend) is also impressive. There’s a reason why many felt he should have been Oscar nominated. It’d have been so easy for him to be the, “stand-up guy who’s only there for comedy relief”, but he gives the movie a solid thread of pathos.

The problems with the film are more on the technical side. The poor editing means the pacing suffers badly. Young Adult is only 93 minutes long but the running length feels like it’s at least 2 hours. There’s a lack of an impactful score, and Cody’s script – while funny – could have done with one more rewrite. Mavis eventually gets a sliver of self-awareness, but it arrives too late, and some audience members may be completely turned off the character by then.

All told, Young Adult is an uneven film. But while it may have fallen short in what it set out to achieve, I for one am grateful that stories like this have a place in cinemas. Better to reach for the stars and fail, than wallow in the cultural sewer.

Pollyanna Cowgirl Records Podcast.  Your weekly hour of great music!  Hosted by Tony Pucci

(00:57) 01 – VOWS – Parallel
(05:48) 02 – KATHLEEN EDWARDS – Empty Threat
(09:20) 03 – THE DELTA RIGGS – Counter Revolution
(11:41) 04 – BABY BOYS – All of My Friends
(15:09) 05 – FORT WILSON RIOT – Generation Complex Pt. 2
(19:21) 06 – GUIDED BY VOICES – The Unsinkable Fats Domino
(21:13) 07 – SLEEPERSTAR – Losing You
(24:18) 08 – THE RED FLAGS – Sorry Look in You Eye
(28:24) 09 – THE GOOD NATURED – Wolves
(31:52) 10 – JESSICA LEE MAYFIELD – Kiss Me Again
(36:01) 11 – SLOUGH FEG – The 95 Thesis
(39:10) 12 – SHELOOM – Bolero
(42:24) 13 – STORYHILL – Mary on the Mountain
(46:26) 14 – PRETTY POP – Cut Flowers
(50:42) 15 – ROSIE THOMAS – The One I Love
(54:45) 16 – VOWS – Winter’s Grave

This week’s featured CD: VOWS – Winter’s Grave

SONGS FOR JENNY ALS Charity Music Project
HOST: Tony Pucci
CONTACT: pollyannacowgirl@simplysyndicated.com

This week the Admiral’s friend Keith returns to chat about all things Tolkien.

I really didn’t see this one coming, but there’s no denying that it actually happened. Suddenly every box under my TV streams video. I feel a little bit behind the times with this one because there have been streaming video products available for a long time, it’s just that now it seems everything is a streaming video player, and more importantly, that there are lots of places to get the video.

For a little while you’ve been able to put your hands on things like a PS3, or XBox 360 that had some sort of video rental service. To be fair the PS3 has always been ahead of the XBox in terms of the available video services. The PS3 has had LoveFilm and BBC iPlayer for some time. Smart TVs and higher end BluRay players have had similar functionality.

Now that functionality has expanded all over the place. With the recent dashboard update the XBox did what so many people are doing these days and added apps. You can now download the Netflix app, the LoveFilm app, the 4OD app, and the list goes on. There’s even streaming live TV from Sky.

In addition to that it isn’t just high end BluRay players that have all the streaming services any more. I just got a Sony S380 for just £89 from Amazon and that comes with pretty much everything you’ll find on a PS3 except the ability to play the games of course.

And there’s more. Today Sky announced that their Anytime+ service is now available to all Sky+HD customers. Before it was only available if you had Sky’s broadband service, but now that’s no longer necessary. On hearing that I did rush to stick an ethernet cable into the back of our Sky box but I don’t know how to make the Anytime+ thing work so I can’t tell you if it’s any good or not. I’ll write something else about it when I get it working. Perhaps the most surprising part of their announcement is that they’re going to have BBC iPlayer content available over the system.

Through all of this iPlayer is a service that is now conspicuous in its absence. We’re told that it is coming sometime this year to XBox, just as Sky say the content is coming to their system sometime this year. the fact remains that unless you’re a Sony fan (hello to that person) putting iPlayer on your TV is one of the hardest things to do. Before the BluRay player, I was doing it with a hacked AppleTV.

Ah but what of Apple? For a long time they have had a much loved but maybe undersold runner in this race. The Apple TV. The product that some people love so much, they think that there’s going to be an actual TV set made by Apple. I have just seen my Apple TV die this last week, not too upsetting as it is so old that it must have been part of the first run of the device. The current model is very small and very cheap. It streams content from your iTunes library to your television more easily than any other device on the market, although others can perform the same basic task. It will even let you rent movies from the iTunes store, which has the same basic new movie selection as the XBox, PS3 or the growing number of smarter TVs and BluRay players. It also has Netflix and YouTube functionality much like all the other streaming video players.

The Apple TV is in danger of becoming irrelevant as more and more devices replicate its functionality.  For a long time the Apple TV has been the cheapest of all the streaming video options, at £99 it is a great little device. However that simply isn’t true any more, and it does face another bigger problem. Look at that Sony BluRay player. For a start it cost me £10 less than an Apple TV would have. If I was just looking for a streaming video player then it wins on price alone. The important thing is that I didn’t buy the BluRay player as a streaming video player. I bought it as a BluRay player. That really means that I now have no reason to replace my Apple TV.

On top of that, I didn’t buy my XBox as a streaming video player either, that was bought as a gaming machine, and now it does more video than the Apple TV ever dreamed of. So with all of these devices I’ll not bother replacing the broken Apple TV. There’s just nothing that it does that need to do.

Right now we’re also lucky enough to see the start of a streaming service battle in the UK. We just got Netflix and they are aggressively standing toe to toe with LoveFilm, which is effectively Amazon’s UK based video offering. Both cost around a fiver each month and offer an impressive selection of video content, with more being added to each service all the time. At the moment I feel like Netflix has the edge on functionality, you can happily enjoy your online content through iOS and Android apps, LoveFilm don’t offer such a thing. However LoveFilm has a larger selection of content at the moment, but you’re locked to your TV or computer. Nether are perfect, and they both use Silverlight on their websites which just makes me angry.

So now we’re at the point where if you’ve got some sort of box plugged into your TV then the chances are that you can stick an internet cable into it and get yourself some streaming video. I suppose this stuff still impresses me because I remember our first VCR arriving at the house. Now I can pretty much be watching any film I can think of in the next 30 seconds. We truly do live in the future now.

A few years ago the original series of a little scifi show called Star Trek was released on BluRay. It was the result of a years long project to enhance something that was fiilmed around half a century ago. It was generally accepted that the work they did was excellent. They didn’t only enhance what was there, but they started adding new things. The special effects were completely recreated, the music was rerecorded, and they gave the Gorn blinking eyes. Everybody was happy.

Then we get to Star Trek: The Next Generation. My personal favourite of all the series, it was the one I started with. I do have the complete set on DVD but they have a little problem, they are close to unwatchable. It’s fair to say that TNG didn’t survive the move to a digital format. 

Unfortunately the problem didn’t end there, while the DVDs were bad, it was also just as bad when it was shown on TV. It seemed nobody had a good copy of TNG. Time for the guys that did such a good job with the original series to get back to work.

And so, for several years, some clever people at CBS Paramount have been working away on their computers to make sure that TNG is not only watchable, but looks better than it ever did before.

I’m informed that series 1 will be released sometime in the summer of this year, however as a bit of a teaser, CBS have released The Next Level. This is a BluRay that has four episodes of Next Gen in all their brand new 1080p glory. They have gone back to the original film negatives, cleaned them up and scanned everything in again. The special effects have been recomposited and the sound enhanced to 7.1 surround sound.

I am watching that BluRay as I write this. The crew are on their way to Farpoint Station and stopping off for a little fight with Q on the way.

First of all let me tell you that this looks better not just than the DVDs of TNG, but this is one of the best looking things I have ever seen on BluRay. If you were on the fence about HD technology then this may well push you over the edge. I can see what I could always see much more clearly. I can also see things that I have never seen before, and trust me when I say, I have seen these shows a lot.

Ever wondered exactly how many hairs there are on Picard’s head? Now you can count them. Want a detailed report on how Data’s shaving rash is doing under that silver makeup? You can get that now. I can honestly describe what they’ve done as perfect.

You can see details on the ship models that perhaps the maker would rather you didn’t. You can read text on control panels. You can see detail that just showed up as fuzzy blackness, now displaying as clearly as anything could.

If the point of this disc was to get me excited about the season one release and make sure that I buy it, then it has done the job. You can buy the disc from Amazon for around £6, it’s worth it just for a look at things to come. Here’s a link to the disc on Amazon.

I love a good news story in the world of sport. So I doff my proverbial cap to the Leeds Rhinos, who announced that their cheerleaders will be supplemented by two male dancers for the new Super League season in rugby league.

I confess I’ve never been the biggest fan of this kind of thing. I think it’s one of the increasingly prevalent sideshows that take away from the athletic prowess on the field of play. But there’s no denying that they are very talented.

However, this raises a wider issue. The use of cheerleaders is an exemplar of a larger societal problem. Even in the ostensibly meritocratic world of sport, men are there to be looked at for their sporting skill. Women are just there to be looked at. So anything that helps bridge the gender divide – proving that there is no domain that is just, “for women” – has to be applauded.

While the appearance of male cheerleaders isn’t uncommon in North America, in Britain they’re about as common as introspection in a Michael Bay film. Cheerleading has an unpleasant association with being a softcore ogle-fest, scopophilia for people who want to go to to strip clubs, but are worried about being caught by their spouse.

The addition of male dancers gives eye-candy for everyone, although I hope it may be able to transcend the lustful part of the punters brains, and allow them to admire the dancers (of both genders) for their rhythmic skills, rather than be stored in the “bank” that dare not speak its name.

It’s only a little thing that the Rhinos have done, but sometimes that’s how equality suffuses itself throughout society. An act of moral decency eventually doesn’t become noteworthy, but humdrum. Let’s hope that this is the starting point for an era where a story like this will no longer be a story, as it’ll be too ordinary to warrant a mention.

Stain by Living Colour

Go The Fuck To Sleep as read by Sam Jackson

The best of our radio days, with Lewis Black, Jim Breuer, Jay’s first ever breaking of Art’s balls, the infamous Halloween prank, Harry Carey, the Art Blues and more. Think of it as the Masters Of None prequel.  Also, if you’re on Twitter, please help us win a Shorty Award by voting via tweet at http://shortyawards.com/MastersOfNone

Yeah the people who make Pot Noodle.

This is becoming a bit of a pet issue of mine, as this is something I have personally run afoul of in the past. Two incidents come to mind. The first was when one of our listener meet ups ended up at FAB Cafe in Leeds, only to be thrown out because it’s “illegal” to take photos in a nightclub, it isn’t. And the conflict continued as I took photos of the bouncers from the street, also not illegal.

Then there was the incident just before Charistms when somebody thought you can’t take pictures in a public place so much that they got into my car and tried to take my phone off me.

For some reason we seem to be living in a world where those of us who lack the ability to think are under the impression that taking photos is somehow a bad thing and is therefore illegal. They also forget that when they’re in public, then they’re in public and have absolutely no right to privacy. If you don’t want to appear on camera then stay home.

And so in following the above video I put in a call to Golden Wonder and got a lesson in how not to handle questions.

First of all I was given the name and number of the security company that supplies the guards. It’s a very common thing for companies like Golden Wonder to not directly employ their own security guards. It’s much easier for them to out source it to a private security company. Such companies exist because it’s such a common practice. Nothing wrong there. However by directing me to talk to Kingdom Security, Golden Wonder are essentially saying that they accept no responsibility for this matter as they don’t employ the individuals in the video. That’s all well and good, but I’d personally say that if somebody is on your company grounds, and is being payed to be there, and is carrying out the instructions of the company, then the fact that Golden Wonder doesn’t directly pay their wages is irrelevant.

After pointing out to GW that simply directing me to a different company is the same as not accepting responsibility for what happened I was transferred to the HR department. Then it got even more crazy. Just like the security guards in the video, there were a lot of contradictions.

First of all it was made clear to me that GW don’t have a problem with people taking photos of their factory and have invited the man in the video back to take all the photos he likes. That’s very big of them considering that that have absolutely no legal right to have a problem with people taking photos of their factory. I was also informed that the two security guards have resigned. Note, not fired, resigned.

Apparently GW are doing nothing more about this matter and have left it to their security company to do an investigation. Given that the two people in the video have apparently resigned I do wonder what that investigation with involve and what any possible results could be. To GW I have to ask why they are so caught up with this security company? Personally as soon as the video hit YouTube I’d have been on the phone to any other security company to replace the one I was using. Isn’t it that simple? If a company is providing you with a service that is not up to par, you use a different company. Yeah, it’s that simple.

GW also said that the incident needs putting in context because we don’t know what happened before the video started. They suggested that the photographer might have provoked the security staff in some way, might have set foot on their property, or attempted to stop cars entering the car park. I asked what hypothetical events might have occurred before the video started that warrented the response the man got from the guards, and got no answer. If he was stopping cars entering the car park, why weren’t the guards talking about that? If he was actually trespassing, why didn’t the guards talk about that? If he had done anything other than take photos, why was none of it mentioned in the video?

GW also seemed annoyed that the faces of the guards were visible in the video. They said that the BBC had played the clip on the news and had blurred out the faces of the guards, so based on that it was obviously a legal requirement to do so, and if it wasn’t, why did the BBC do it? Well, it isn’t in any way a legal requirement, for the same reason that it isn’t illegal for the photos to be taken in the first place. If you’re stood on a public street in the middle of the day you have absolutely no legal recourse against somebody either photographing or videoing you. It seems they haven’t learned their lesson, but seeing as they’re doing nothing about it themselves, that isn’t hard to believe. Perhaps the security company will learn that rule.

So in conclusion I’d say that Golden Wonder handled this about as badly as it could be handled. Perhaps they could do an investigation in to that.

When you’re out and about taking pictures, you’re entirely allowed to do that. You can take photos of people and buildings, even police officers and that’s all there is to it. Ignore everyone who tells you that you aren’t allowed to do it. The only situations that I’m aware of where you could very well be moved on from, is if you’re trying to take photos of milatry

Name that Atari 2600 game with the cover provided. Perhaps this will be worthy of Scott Rubin of GeekNights since he likes challenging trivia. Perhaps I may even see a submission from him.

Send your submissions to ro.rosaka@gmail.com. Deadline is next Thursday, 02/02/2012, at 12AM PST. One winner will be randomly selected and given a shout-out on our next recording.

After taking a break from our regular rotation to deliver the review of the year shows, we return with a half and half episode.

Shane talks about Chris Boardman’s Gold Medal in 1992 at the Barcelona Olympics, as well as its impact on British Cycling – the rewards of which the country is reaping now. He would go on to be the only British cyclist worth talking about until the emergence of David Millar in the late 1990s.

Jonathan talks about Super Bowl III and Joe Namath’s promise to win the game despite playing for the huge underdogs New York Jets. This was the first time an AFL team beat the NFL.

Email: sportshistoryshow@googlemail.com

Blog: sportshistoryshow.blogspot.com

Nerd Hurdles returns to the Underworld. It triggers an argument about body image.

3 1/2 out of 5 *****

One could argue a brief look at the publicity for Like Crazy is something of a marketing disaster; the trailer, the mawkish poster, even the title. You’d be right in surmising that Like Crazy is a love story, but it’s not the love story that the first wave of advertising would have you believe. Jakob Rehlinger – from the Nerd Hurdles podcast – argued that this same problem beset the movie, Hanna.

The couple is question is Anna (Felicity Jones) and Jacob (Anton Yelchin). Anna is an English college student in Los Angeles and takes a shine to classmate, Jacob. Sure enough a whirlwind love-affair swiftly develops between the two of them. While I’d imagine that they have been in relationships before, they approach this one with the wide-eyed wonder of a child who’s opened their Christmas presents to find that Santa has brought them exactly what they wanted.

But where’s the drama in two people who love each other in trouble-free togetherness? The major hurdle Anna and Jacob have is geographical. Anna is only in America on a student visa, and her stay in the country is far from infinite. The test comes from sustaining their love despite being in two different continents. Not only do they have to surmount this, but the quixotic rush of the early stages of the relationship dissipates, and the story explores just how well these two people are suited to each other.

The opening 20 minutes of the movie may cause some to roll their eyes with lassitude. We get the montage that we often see when people fall in love – whimsical walks on a beach soundtracked by an indie/pop guitar act. However, writer/director Drake Doremus still makes it bearable by his skillful direction. In conjunction with his cinematographer, John Guleserian, the shot arrangement is both functional and aesthetically pleasing. The composition of Like Crazy is exquisite.

As the film progresses, things become increasingly complicated. Its depiction of the interaction between Anna and Jacob is handled with class and maturity, which is in some ways ironic, as one of the best things Like Crazy does is highlight the immaturity intrinsic in falling for someone. The way people can idealise a person they’ve just met makes adapting to their less pleasing qualities a wearying slog.

Using the process of the initial high of meeting a mate, the film explores issues that its characters would prefer not to face; What will it be like meeting your spouse’s friends and relatives? How do you keep things fresh when you have to focus on your career? What do you do when the sex stops and the talking begins? And how hard are you willing to fight to keep your love alive when fate seems to have other plans? Anna bemoans the fact that the intermittent nature of their relationship means they have to keep “starting again”.

Not only is the film superbly shot, but Doremus and fellow screenwriter, Ben York Jones, make a shrewd decision in not scripting the dialogue too specifically. Capturing the verbal and physical nuances of people falling in love, and trying to stay in love, are far too delicate to orchestrate in a screenplay straitjacket. It may work for Kevin Smith, Steven Moffat or Aaron Sorkin, but it would have choked the life out of a movie such as this. Instead, Doremus allows his actors room to improvise and it allows a more naturalistic feel, which empowers the performers to take control of their characters. I particularly loved how the film exposed the monosyllabic avoidance couples communicate in when they’re trying to prevent themselves getting into an argument.

The strong casting ensures that each performance strikes the right note. Jones and Yelchin dovetail well together, even though Jones is the film’s shining light. She was the best thing in Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant’s, Cemetery Junction, and has an easy radiance about her, which – if she chooses her projects wisely – should thrill audiences for years to come. There’s also a small, but noteworthy appearance from Jennifer Lawrence; if you don’t recognise the name, chances are you will this time next year after her role in the upcoming Hunger Games adaptation.

Like Crazy bears comparison with two of the best romance films of recent years, Blue Valentine – in terms of narrative and (500) Days of Summer - in terms of tone. It shows that not every love story has to have the emetic reductiveness of Sex & The City. Audiences will probably feel moments of recognition, and moments of awkwardness. The chances are that Like Crazy will remind you of someone you know, if not remind you of yourself. It shows us a part of life that is often rousing and painful, and at times discomforting, which is the requisite of any substantive piece of art. After the average cinema we got in 2011, Like Crazy gets 2012 off to a strong start.

Poor Omar is undone by Genesis in our latest installment of Atomic Trivia War 9000. Other topics include: Children’s books, movie roles, iconic music, and fictional currencies.

Blame Scott Rubin.

Pollyanna Cowgirl Records Podcast.  Your weekly hour of great music!  Hosted by Tony Pucci  

(00:57) 01 – SEAPONY – Blue Star
(03:17) 02 – ISLES OF KIN – My Little Girl
(09:28) 03 – NO AGE – Glitter
(13:20) 04 – THE ARCTIC FLOW – This Time
(19:05) 05 – THE SPECS – Target of My Animosity
(23:21) 06 – LOCK and KEY – 2nd Quarter Broken
(25:52) 07 – PHANTOM TAILS – Onward and Awkward
(29:16) 08 – DUM DUM GIRLS – He Gets Me High
(32:03) 09 – CARNAGE THE EXECUTIONER – Comin Thru Ya Speakers
(37:09) 10 – FIRE IN THE NORTHERN FIRS – Something to Write Home About (live)
(40:56) 11 – THE SADIES – Anna Leigh
(44:12) 12 – ROSE POLENZANI – Blue Angel
(48:10) 13 – RUSSIAN CIRLCES – Mldek
(56:32) 14 – THE BIG PINK – Velvet

SONGS FOR JENNY ALS Charity Music Project

HOST: Tony Pucci

CONTACT: pollyannacowgirl@simplysyndicated.com

The fourth installment in the franchise—and the proper sequel to the second film Underworld: Evolution—finds our heroine, Selene, awakening from twelve years in stasis to a world where humans have purged Vampires and Werewolves to the point of extinction. This is really the only place the franchise could be taken. This place being the Resident Evil films.

Co-directors Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein borrow more than a few pages from the Paul W.S. Anderson schlock-fests:

Page 1—We see a back-story of where a True Blood-style “Great Revelation” results in lycanthropy and vampirism being treated as like T-virus infections with paramilitary units going on search and destroy missions.

Page 2—Selene breaks out of a glass stasis tube, naked, in an Umbrella Corporation lab (here trading under the name AntiGen) and has to kill her way past endlessly respawning guards who luckily have a bad case of the Stormtroopers as far as their marksmanship goes.

Page 3—Selene has to make sense of the world she’s awoken to.

Page 4—Fights with rotting-looking dogs in a dark, cramped space.

Page 5—Teams up with a preternaturally strong and intelligent child sidekick.

Page 6—A genetically enhanced werewolf bears a striking similarities to Nemesis, at least in concept.

But to be fair, Mårlind and Stein borrow pages from other sources as well. Twilight and True Blood get their due in the form of a love triangle between being set up for the unavoidable next film. An Edward-esque vampire named Theo seems poised to come between Selene and her missing werewold/vampire hybrid boyfriend Michael. Really, this film has everything.

Except zombies. I’m holding out hope for those later in the series. In fact, if the next film doesn’t see a vaccine for vampirism and lycanthropy going horribly awry and turning humans into the walking dead, I’ll be demanding my money back. And I’ll be swearing a lot while I do it.

What the film doesn’t have, besides zombies, are engaging performances by any of the actors—including a sleep-walking Stephen Rea. For a film that is trying so hard to be Resident Evil, they seem to have forgotten Milla Jovovich is interesting to watch even if she’s just eating dry toast. Kate Beckinsale is about as interesting as watching dry toast. The first Underworld film became a cult favourite due mostly to the Adam West-meets-William Shatner camp of Shane Brolly and Bill Nighy‘s terrible (awesome) performances. No one here seems willing to make a fool of themselves and that’s the film’s great loss.

What the film does do well is bulk up on the gore. Finally the violence in Underworld is as dark and visceral as as war between vampires and werewolves should be. Unfortunately you have to endure some terrible 3D at the same time.

Apparently this was one of the first features filmed with the Red Epic cameras being used in The Hobbit. Since Awakening features some of the worst cardboard cut-out 3D I’ve seen since the rebirth of 3D, things don’t bode well for Middle Earth. In several scenes it’s exactly like you’re looking at a diorama with layered planes of paper dolls instead of experiencing an immersive world.

In a lot of ways Awakening is a better film than the previous Underworld films. But that actually makes it a less enjoyable film. And if you’re just going to see Beckinsale’s ass wrapped in vinyl, find a picture on the Internet—it’ll last longer.

If you’d like to look at the news you’ll find it here in our shownotes.

Beginning:

Virgin Media suffers three hour outage days after announcing super-fast broadband
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/18/virgin-media-outage/

iPads replaced with clay, sold to unsuspecting Canadians
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/18/ipads-replaced-with-clay-sold-by-retailer/

Phones/ Tablets/ eReaders:

Apple Announces iBooks 2, A New Textbook Experience For The iPad
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/apple-announces-ibook-2-a-new-textbook-experience-for-the-ipad/
iBooks Textbook Sales: Authors Set Pricing Up to $14.99, Apple Takes 30%, iBooks-Exclusive – Mac Rumors
http://www.macrumors.com/2012/01/19/ibooks-textbook-sales-authors-set-pricing-up-to-14-99-apple-takes-30-ibooks-exclusive/
Apple Unveils New iBooks Author Tool, Not Just For Textbooks
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/apple-unveils-new-ibooks-author-tool-not-just-for-textbooks/
Wait A Second, There Are Only 8 Apple Textbooks Available At Launch
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/8-apple-textbooks/
Apple’s iBooks 2 e-textbooks pack tons of info, take up tons of your iPad’s memory
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apples-ibooks-2-e-textbooks-pack-tons-of-info-take-up-tons-of/
Apple launches iBooks 2 e-Textbook platform (video)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-ibooks-2/
Apple iBooks 2 textbook hands-on (video)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-ibooks-textbook-hands-on-video/
Apple iTunes U hands-on (video)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-itunes-u-hands-on-video/
Apple’s big iBooks 2 win isn’t in the tech — it’s the price
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/apples-big-iboo.php
Apple iBooks 2 textbooks video walkthrough and screenshots (hands-on)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-ibooks-2-textbooks-video-walkthrough-and-screenshots-hand/
Opinion: Why Apple’s iBooks Initiatives Won’t Revolutionize Education
http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/01/apple-edtech/
Apple’s education announcement: what you need to know
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apples-education-announcement-what-you-need-to-know/
Apple sets eye on textbook market
http://boingboing.net/2012/01/19/apple-sets-eye-on-textbook-mar.html

New iTunes U App Hits iTunes With Over 500,000 Free Lectures, Videos & Books
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/new-itunes-u-app-hits-itunes-with-over-500000-free-lectures-videos-books/
Apple revamps iTunes U and intros dedicated app (video)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-revamps-itunes-u-and-intros-dedicated-app/

Apple: 20,000 Education iPad Apps Developed; 1.5 Million Devices In Use At Schools
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/apple-20000-education-ipad-apps-developed-1-5-million-devices-in-use-at-schools/

Apple wants to make publishing easy with ‘GarageBand of e-books’
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/apple-to-revolu.php
Apple announces free iBooks Author OS X app for publishing books to the App Store
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apple-announces-ibooks-author-app-for-os-x/
iBooks 2 lets authors set textbook prices in exchange for Apple exclusivity
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/ibooks-2-lets-authors-set-textbook-prices-in-exchange-for-apple/
Apple’s iBooks Author hands-on (update: video!)
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/apples-ibooks-author-hands-on/

Portable dock lets you scan documents into your iPad on the go
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/portable-dock-l.php

Arman Ahnood teases OLED display with solar cells, idealizes the self-sustaining smartphone
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/20/oled-display-with-integrated-solar-cells/

Should RIM Abandon Ship?
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/18/should-rim-abandon-ship/

RIM To Release 7-Inch And 10-Inch PlayBooks This Year?
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/17/rim-to-release-7-inch-and-10-inch-playbooks-this-year/
Rumor: two new BlackBerry PlayBook tablets coming out this year
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/rumor-two-new-b.php

Samsung wasn’t interested in buying RIM, still isn’t interested in buying RIM
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/17/samsung-not-buying-rim/

Samsung commits to improve smartphone battery life in 2012
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/17/samsung-commits-to-improve-smartphone-battery-life-in-2012/

250 Million Android Devices Activated, 11 Billion Apps Downloaded
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/250-million-android-devices-activated-11-billion-apps-downloaded/

Samsung Galaxy S II and Galaxy Tab get security nod, certified for government agencies
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/16/samsung-galaxy-s-ii-and-galaxy-tab-get-security-nod-certified-f/

Kindle Fire firmware update 6.2.2 brings full-screen browsing
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/18/kindle-fire-firmware-updated-6-2-2-full-screen-browser/

Internet:

Hulu To Debut Its First Original Scripted Show “Battleground” Next Month
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/16/hulu-to-debut-its-first-original-scripted-show-battleground-next-month/

Jerry Yang Resigns From Yahoo
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/17/jerry-yang-resigns-yahoo/
Yahoo’s Jerry Yang quits the company he co-founded, walks away from Alibaba as well
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/17/jerry-yang-quits-yahoo-alibaba/
Yahoo co-founder, former CEO Jerry Yang resigns from board and “all other positions”
http://boingboing.net/2012/01/17/yahoo-founder-jerry-yang-resig.html
Co-Founder, Ex-CEO Jerry Yang Resigns From Yahoo’s Board
http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2012/01/jerry-yang-resigns-yahoo/

Former Google CIO Raises $73 Million To Reform Payday Loans With Data-Driven Startup ZestCash
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/former-google-cio-raises-73-million-to-reform-payday-loans-with-data-driven-startup-zestcash/

Surprise! People like free stuff, Amazon’s lending library a success
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/16/Amazons-lending-library-a-success/

Lovefilm Instant UK lands on LG Smart TVs, shrinks postmen’s movie collection
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/lovefilm-instant-uk-lands-on-lg-smart-tvs-shrinks-postmens-mov/
Lovefilm, Disney UK deal brings ABC content across the pond
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/16/lovefilm-disney-uk-deal-brings-abc-content-across-the-pond/

Microsoft adding Nokia branding to Bing Maps
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/microsoft-adding-nokia-branding-to-bing-maps/

Games:

Surprise Surprise, Mass Effect 3 Requires Origin, Won’t Launch On Steam [Mass Effect 3]
http://kotaku.com/5876171/surprise-surprise-mass-effect-3-requires-origin-wont-launch-on-steam
Mass Effect 3 for PC will require Origin activation, not launching on Steam
http://www.gamesradar.com/mass-effect-3-pc-will-require-origin-activation-not-launching-steam/
Origin Required For Digital, Physical Copies Of Mass Effect 3 On PC
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/01/15/origin-required-for-digital-physical-copies-of-mass-effect-3-on-pc.aspx
Mass Effect 3 PC system requirements blasted open by BioWare
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/19/mass-effect-3-pc-system-requirements-blasted-open-by-bioware/

THQ Wipes Out Games Planned for 2014 to Ready Itself for Sale, Says Games Insider [Update] [Rumor]
http://kotaku.com/5876253/thq-wipes-out-games-planned-for-2014-to-ready-itself-for-sale-says-insider
THQ Says it has “Not Cancelled” its 2014 Lineup
http://kotaku.com/5876348/thq-says-it-has-not-cancelled-its-2014-lineup
THQ denies rumors about cancellation of its 2014 lineup
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/16/thq-denies-rumors-about-cancellation-of-its-2014-lineup/
[Update] THQ Responds To Rumors Of Canceled 2014 Lineup
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/01/15/rumor-thq-cancels-2014-game-lineup-looking-for-buyer.aspx
Rumor: THQ up for sale, cancels multiple titles [Update: THQ responds]
http://www.gamesradar.com/rumor-thq-sale-cancels-multiple-titles/

Minecraft’s Developers Working On Three New Games That You Don’t Know About [Mojang]
http://kotaku.com/5876312/minecrafts-developers-working-on-three-new-games-that-you-dont-know-about
Mojang working on three new games, two of which will be announced before Q3
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/13/mojang-working-on-three-new-games-two-of-which-will-be-announce/

Minecraft hits 20 million registered users
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/14/minecraft-hits-20-million-registered-users/
Minecraft Hits 20 Million Registered Users
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/01/14/minecraft-hits-20-million-registered-users.aspx
Minecraft Pocket Edition building worlds in 700K pockets
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/19/minecraft-pocket-edition-building-worlds-in-700k-pockets/

Star Trek Online Free-to-Play Now Open To Everyone [Video]
http://kotaku.com/5876896/star-trek-online-free+to+play-now-open-to-everyone
Star Trek Online boldly goes free-to-play today
http://www.gamesradar.com/star-trek-online-boldly-goes-free-play-today/

Skyrim’s Creation Kit is “Nearly Ready” [The Elder Scrolls]
http://kotaku.com/5877738/skyrims-creation-kit-is-nearly-ready
Bethesda says it’s still on track for release of Skyrim modding tools
http://www.gamesradar.com/bethesda-says-its-still-track-release-skyrim-modding-tools/
Bethesda says it’s still on track for release of Skyrim modding tools
http://www.gamesradar.com/bethesda-says-its-still-track-release-skyrim-modding-tools/
Bethesda readies Skyrim patch and Creation Kit
http://www.gamesradar.com/bethesda-readies-skyrim-patch-and-creation-kit/
Skyrim 1.4 detailed, PC ‘Creation Kit’ for mods coming soon
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/20/skyrim-1-4-detailed-pc-creation-kit-for-mods-coming-soon/
This Is What The Next Skyrim Patch Fixes
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/01/19/new-skyrim-patch-updates-detailed.aspx

Mad Catz shows off MLG Pro controller at CES, for the discerning button pusher
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/17/mad-catz-shows-off-mlg-pro-controller-at-ces-for-the-discerning/

Microsoft’s Xbox division revenue at $4.24 billion in Q2, Xbox Live hits 40 million users
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/20/microsofts-xbox-division-revenue-at-4-24-billion-in-q2-xbox-l/

Marvel Heroes Will Use Unreal Engine 3
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/01/17/marvel-heroes-will-use-unreal-engine-3.aspx

Kingdoms of Amalur demo launches today with Mass Effect 3 extras
http://www.gamesradar.com/kingdoms-amalur-demo-launches-today-me3-cross-promo/

Mass Effect 3 demo drops in on February 14
http://www.gamesradar.com/mass-effect-3-demo-drops-february-14/

Playstation Vita Sales In Nosedive After Strong Japan Debut
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/18/playstation-vita-sales-in-nosedive-after-strong-japan-debut/

Computers:

Microsoft Reports Record Revenue: Up 5% To $20.9B, Earnings At $0.78 Per Share
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/microsoft-revenue-up-5-to-20-9b-earnings-at-0-78-per-share/

Genius DX-ECO wireless mouse has no battery, charges in three minutes anyway
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/genuis-dx-eco-wireless-mouse-has-no-battery-charges-in-three-mi/

Social Media:

Google+ web app adds two new features, iOS and Android soon to follow
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/18/google-web-app-adds-two-new-features-ios-and-android-soon-to-f/

Other:

Supreme Court rules public domain isn’t permanent, says Congress can re-copyright works
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/20/supreme-court-rules-public-domain-isnt-permanent-says-congress/
Supreme Court Says Congress May Re-Copyright Public Domain Works
http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2012/01/scotus-re-copyright-decision/

Foxconn Chief Equates Employees To Animals
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/19/foxconn-chief-equates-employees-to-animals/
Foxconn Responds To CEO’s “Employees Are Animals” Comment
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/20/foxconn-responds-to-ceos-employees-are-animals-comment/

Kodak files Chapter 11 bankruptcy, expects to complete restructuring by 2013
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/19/kodak-chapter-11-bankruptcy/
Kodak throws in the towel, but the company isn’t dead yet
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/kodak-throws-in.php
Kodak bankrupt
http://boingboing.net/2012/01/19/kodak-bankrupt.html

Questions / Email:

Hi Guys,

I have been brainstorming in waste time of late (waiting for trains, queuing in Tesco etc.) and have a few ideas for games for iOS devices that have depth, targets and, I’d like to think, a level of enjoyment. However, I don’t have the time and/or patience/ability to create them. Are there companies who will pay for ideas or give % of sales etc. for such ideas? My biggest worry is that some bugger would steal my idea.
I believe at least one of you understands the “app industry”.
Can you help?

Toby

To Finish:

Apple patents clothes that track how you wear them, tell you when it’s time to update your wardrobe
http://www.engadget.com/2012/01/17/apple-patents-clothes-that-track-how-you-wear-them-tell-you-whe/

Skyrim Faces the Greatest Threat it Has Ever Seen: Giant Friendship-Breathing Ponies
http://kotaku.com/5877516/skyrim-faces-the-greatest-threat-it-has-ever-seen-giant-friendship+breathing-ponies
Skyrim mod replaces dragons with My Little Pony
http://www.joystiq.com/2012/01/19/skyrim-mod-replaces-dragons-with-my-little-pony/
My Little Pony Skyrim mod pours one for the Bronys
http://www.gamesradar.com/my-little-pony-skyrim-mod-pours-one-bronys/

Samsung now selling SUR40 Surface table for only $8,400
http://dvice.com/archives/2012/01/samsung-now-sel.php
The Surface 2.0 From Microsoft And Samsung Ships At Last
http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/16/the-surface-2-0-from-microsoft-and-samsung-ships-at-last/

This is the Christmas show that happens right as Christmas starts. It was a pleasure to have you all there.

Grab a box of tissues and a bean bag and settle down for the truly penultimate HGN.

We dedicate this show to YOU and YOU alone, our wonderful listeners!!

Ok so we do bang on about us for a while first, but hey after nearly 100 episodes you should be used to that.

This show is all about your last emails and comments and our chance to get a bit sentimental before our massive
blow out of a last show.

Links:

Please click here and sponsor Laura (Golden Lariot) she is awesome. F*** Cancer!!!

SPONSOR LAURA

The following post is from Jonathon Dez-La-Lour (a.k.a jonathond2607 on our forums and jd2607 on Twitter). This can also be read at - http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/258996755

What I loved about this book was its honesty. It doesn’t read like it’s making out ambulance service to be glamourous or easy, and it doesn’t just present one aspect of the work. The highs, the lows, the bloody bureaucracy; it covers just about everything and it does so in a way that’s a pleasure to read.

Reynolds’ dark sense of humour suits me perfectly, so I got more than a few good giggles out of this book (“I have a baby deer to kneecap. These things don’t run out in front of cars on their own you know.”), but it’s also surprisingly heartfelt and has left me close to tears while sat on the bus, especially when he writes about his experiences during the London bombings of July 2005, or about some of the abuse that he’s witnessed in care homes.

When reading this, I got a real sense of someone who does his job because he sincerely wants to help people and when describing a “good job”, it’s always the one where they’ve been most able to make a difference in their patient’s life.

I’ll admit that when I started reading, I had no idea what kind of book I was getting into. I was expecting some sort of fiction novel that had then been adapted into a TV series. I’m really happy that I didn’t. I got something a lot more real and more heartfelt than some work of fiction. I can see the similarities between the TV series and the book, mostly in the way that the main character in the series comes out remarkably like Reynolds’ written words. However, the book feels much more personal.

Check this book out if you haven’t had a chance. It’s available for 99p in the UK amazon store (the kindle edition, the physical one is more expensive) and for $1.55 in the US amazon store (again, kindle edition, physical books are more expensive). I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who won’t enjoy this book.